We live on a corner where a busy road in town intersects a quiet little side street. This sleepy dead end provides a place for all the neighborhood kids to learn to ride their bikes, draw with sidewalk chalk, have foot races, and simply gather to PLAY.
In short, our nook on this gentle road is pretty idyllic.
The other day, Joseph, Theo and I were outside playing. Joseph decided he wanted to take his big wheels out for a spin down the road, so I strapped Theo in the jogging stroller and we were off.
Down and up and up and down we went, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, laughing and chatting and just enjoying the spring day.
On our final run back up toward our home, Joseph looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said,
“Let’s race!”
“You’re on!” I grinned back.
Ever so slightly, I picked up my pace pushing Theo in the jogger, and while Joseph was well out in front to begin with, he turned his head to glare at me and shrieked, “SLOW DOWN!”
The kid was legit going to beat me, but he of course veered off into the neighbor’s bushes as soon as he turned his focus toward me.
“Look where you’re going!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “If you focus on me, you’re never going to win!”
He pretended to cry, but the over-dramatic outburst was cloaked in laughter as he sped away before coasting into our driveway.
As I followed, I couldn’t help but think how in most (all?) cases, focusing on ourselves will ultimately lead to victory. At least it does a lot faster than focusing on someone else and still expecting to win (or thrive or flourish or even feel good).
When you practice yoga, balancing on one leg is nearly impossible if you’re focused on the person two rows ahead. If you’re lifting weights or doing crunches or banging out a set of burpees, you’re probably not going to achieve as much as you could if you’re worrying about how much or how many or how fast the person next to you is doing.
When you’re snowed in with your kids, it’s awfully hard to have a good time when you’re focused on the perfect lives Instagram shows under #momlife.
And it’s nearly impossible to make a decision for your small business (ok I’m totally talking to myself here!) when you’re paralyzed because all you can do is look at what every other business is doing.
There are some days when I have to make a real conscience effort not to let the outside in. And if I do, it’s from a few, select people who’s opinions I trust, and who I know have my best interests at heart. We just can’t expect to grow as individuals, personally, professionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, everything-ally (đ) if we’re thinking about what everyone else around us is doing.
When I first opened my studio, I wasted so much energy comparing my business to others’. And the frustrating thing about that behavior was that I wasn’t even taking into account the differences in markets, years in business, class offerings, location, etc. etc. etc. I can tell you one thing for certain though, my business didn’t grow all that much from focusing on what everyone else around me was doing; rather, it grew when I started to focus on my own situation. And that’s way more fun too!
Another ridiculous comparison episode (or three) came during my pregnancies. I had big babies – what can I say – and I would look at these pictures of other pregnant moms or even see my friends who were pregnant at the same time, and they all just seemed to have these perfectly-sized, adorable little bumps. Meanwhile, I had people in the grocery store asking me if I was having twins. Yep. I know it’s not a huge deal, but looking back, I wish I paid more attention to how awesome my own bump was. Because it was!
While I totally think gaining inspiration from outside sources can be a solid part of the strategy for growth (just think about your youth sports team and how you always played better when you were up against the best team in the league), others’ influences shouldn’t be the be-all, end-all of your own journey.
There’s always going to be someone or some business or some situation that seems ideal, but even those scenarios aren’t perfect … you know they’re not.
Focus on yourself, what you need, what you want, what makes you happy. What does your soul need? We can answer those questions honestly for ourselves when we quiet the noise around us and focus inward.
And focusing inward will always help you finish first in a neighborhood race đ
Happy sweating!
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The proud winner of the race!
